About Last Night...

The Facebook Post immediately following the following encounter:

Dear Crazy Neighbor Lady,
by Sarah Matlock on Monday, May 23, 2011 at 4:26am

Being awakened at 4:30 am to you pounding on my door was fun. Being accused of having people over partying loudly every night this week was fun too. You threatening to tow the car in your parking spot doesn't really bug me b/c when I tell you it doesn't belong to me, I was telling the truth. Being accused of hiding someone inside my apartment who "better move their car b/c it's being towed tonight" kinda irked me. And, as the innocent bystander who (after being harrassed in the middle of the night) says "Have a good night" and you go off on me again about having to park elsewhere and call a tow truck and it's all my fault... Well, then I think you've crossed a line.

Sincerely,

Sarah

After I had already told the lady I was home alone, trying to reassure her that I was indeed not hiding the red car's driver in my closet, I felt like a lame-tard for admitting no one else was around. I called my roommate, but she was asleep and didn't answer. Then I called B, who I was pretty certain was most likely awake, and he chivalrously came to my rescue at 5 am. <3


My friends had some advice that ranged from shanking her to making her laxative brownies. I do think I'll at least leave her a note, maybe some cookies, saying something to effect of

"Hello Neighbor,
Hope everything worked out from the other night.
While we want to assure that we did not have any connection to the
red car in your spot, we understand how frustrating it is when
we come home to someone parked in our spot as well.
Please let us know if we can ever be of any help.
Cordially yours,
The Girls Next Door."

I want to be so sickeningly nice about it. I'm not sure it counts as an act of kindness if you get a sick thrill out of knowing it will only tick the person off even more.
Oh well.
The ends justify the means, I suppose.


muahahaha...

Sarah :: Plucky in Love

Sarah, aka "Plucky", blogs on the reg, unless she's on vacation or there's a Pretty Little Liars marathon or she's mulling over the implications of the phrase "on fleek." She can't live without iced coffee, a portable phone charger, or equal pay. Say hello!

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