He's Just NOT That Into You

  • He’s just not that into you if he’s not asking you out.
    • An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of "ruining the friendship."
    • Don't get tricked into asking him out. If he likes you, he'll do the asking.
    • If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.
    • Just because you like to lead doesn't mean he wants to dance. Some traditions are born of nature and last through time for a reason.
    • "Hey, let's meet at so-and-so's party/any bar/friend's house" is not a date. Even if you live in New York City.
    • Men don't forget how much they like you. So put down the phone. 
    • You are good enough to be asked out.
[We did an incredibly unscientific poll where we polled twenty of our male friends (ranging from ages 26 – 45), who are in serious long-term relationships. Not one of their relationships started with the woman asking them out first. One guy even said that if she had, “It would have spoiled all the fun.”]

  • He’s just not that into you if he’s not calling you.
    • If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind.
    • If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do the same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you.
    • Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do.
    • If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs.
    • “Busy” is another word for “asshole.” “Asshole” is another word for the guy you’re dating.
    • You deserve a fucking phone call.
[100% of men polled said they’ve never been too busy to call a woman they were really into. As one fine man said, “A man has got to have his priorities.”]
  • He’s just not that into you if he’s not dating you.
    • Guys tell you how they feel even if you refuse to listen or believe them. “I don’t want to be in a serious relationship” truly means “I don’t want to be in a serious relationship with you” or “I’m not sure that you’re the one.” (Sorry.)
    • Better than nothing is not good enough for you!
    • If you don’t know where the relationship is going, it’s okay to pull over and ask.
    • Murky? Not good.
    • There’s a guy out there who will want to tell everyone that he’s your boyfriend. Quit goofing around and go find him.
[100% of guys polled said “a fear of intimacy” has never stopped them from getting into a relationship. One guy even remarked, “Fear of intimacy is an urban myth.” Another guy said, “That’s just what we say to girls when we’re just not that into them.”
  • He’s just not that into you if he’s breaking up with you.
    • You can’t talk your way out of a breakup. It is not up for discussion. A breakup is a definitive action, not a democratic one.
    • Breakup sex still means you’re broken up.
    • Cut him off. Let him miss you.
    • He doesn’t need to be reminded that you’re great.
    • He can take care of his cat.
    • “Classy” doesn’t “break into his answering machine.”
    • There’s a guy out there who’s going to be really happy that you didn’t get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.
[100% of men polled said that when they broke up with someone, it always meant that they didn’t want to go out with them anymore.]
  • He’s just not that into you if he’s disappeared on you.
    • He might be lying in the hospital with amnesia, but more likely he’s just not that into you.
    • No answer is your answer.
    • Don’t give him the chance to reject you again.
    • Let his mother yell at him. You’re too busy.
    • There’s no mystery – he’s gone and he wasn’t good enough for you.
[100% of men polled who had “disappeared” on a woman said that at the time they were completely aware of what a horrible thing they were doing, and no woman calling them up and talking to them would have changed that.]
  • He’s just not that into you if he’s married (and other insane variations of being unavailable).
    • He’s married.
    • Unless he’s all yours, he’s still hers.
    • There are cool, loving single men in the world. Find one of them to go out with.
    • If a guy is yelling about his ex-wife or crying over his last girlfriend, try to find someone else to take you to the movies.
    • He’s married.
    • Don’t be that girl.
    • You are not easily forgotten. Let him find you when he’s ready.
  •  He’s just not that into you if he’s a selfish jerk, a bully, or a really big freak.
    • Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.
    • You deserve to be with someone who is nice to you all the time. (You have to be nice to them, too.)
    • There’s never a reason to shout at someone unless they are in imminent danger.
    • Freaks should remain at the circus, not in your apartment.
    • You already have one asshole. You don’t need another.
    • Make a space in your life for the glorious things you deserve.
    • Have faith. What other choice is there?
[100% of guys polled said they have never tried to torture or humiliate a girl they were really into. Well, that’s a start.]

Sarah :: Plucky in Love

Sarah, aka "Plucky", blogs on the reg, unless she's on vacation or there's a Pretty Little Liars marathon or she's mulling over the implications of the phrase "on fleek." She can't live without iced coffee, a portable phone charger, or equal pay. Say hello!

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