You've got friends, and then you've got "friends" ...

It's really sad when you have people in your life that you are embarrassed to introduce or intermingle with any other people in your life.
One of things I love about my friends is their diverse nature. I enjoy lots of people who have different ethnic backgrounds, culture backgrounds, spiritual and religious backgrounds, even educational backgrounds. I love this. I love the perspectives. The way two people can sit in the same room with such different ideas and both feel equally convinced of their right-ness.
However, some people are incredibly threatened by others they perceive as 'different.'
Example:

I hosted several friends last night at our regular, monthly Game Night. I invite people I know from all different areas of my life and we all get along just fine.
Last night, however, two very, very different gentleman ended up in my living room at the same time. The first, we'll call him Oscar, is a wonderful, gentle man as well as being a gentleman. Don't get me wrong - he's a boy, so he says pretty dumb things at regular intervals, but he's courteous, respectful, and ... a very faithful Christian.
The other, we'll call him Bryan, is about as far from courteous and respectful as they come. He's also an okay guy: a good friend to his buddies, he's pursuing a lot of education, and ... he and Jesus are not really homeboys.
Like I said, one of my favorite things about interacting with people is an open dialogue of beliefs, values, and such, and so it's not the first time I've had religious/nonreligious friends together and it works out just fine.
Nothing really happened last night either. No one came to fisticuffs or seemed to be insulted or offended.
But I was embarrassed at the display. Bryan is threatened by any person, place, idea, or topic that is not of his own choosing. Rather than feeling confident enough in his opinions and platforms to respectfully disagree, he finds it much more effective to bluster loudly, call names, and generally be as offensive as possible to throw people off long enough to make himself feel that he has come out ahead in the conversation.
Oscar had the gall to speak freely about topics and ideas that were at odds with Bryan. Needless to say much anger, lewdness, and overall unpleasantries followed. Since it was mostly guys in attendance anyway, I'm fairly certain no one else even noticed. However, as the host who brought these people together, I was offended on behalf of my guest and embarrassed (yet again) by Bryan's conduct.
While I hate that it's come to this, I think for my own sake I have stop inviting Bryan to my functions. I hate to be that way. I don't even want to say he's wrong in his approach to handling conflicting/new views and people. I just prefer that his method of handling it take place somewhere other than in my home.
Since we know a few of the same people, I've really only included him as a token gesture of cordiality more than any real enjoyment of his company in the last few months.
I'm sad to say it... but I think we may be at an impasse. :(
I guess we'll see.

Sarah :: Plucky in Love

Sarah, aka "Plucky", blogs on the reg, unless she's on vacation or there's a Pretty Little Liars marathon or she's mulling over the implications of the phrase "on fleek." She can't live without iced coffee, a portable phone charger, or equal pay. Say hello!

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